olease get my ass on artfight let’s rip each other to pieces. please
i love the concept of divorce lawyers. the only things in the world that have the power to undo your marriage are death itself or a special little boy with a law degree.
never let kids get into stories about shapeshifting first theyre pretending to be wolves on the playground then theyre getting radicalized by animorphs then theyre realizing the human body is an impermanent and malleable thing then theyre discovering you can take a potion to change your gender in real life
My boyfriend was on the phone with his dad yesterday so I went out to sit on the patio to pet the geese and play on my phone for a bit, and while out there I came across a comic of baby Grimace (yes, that Grimace) being sad because everyone hated his milkshake and saying he wished he never had a birthday. Then there was a follow up where tons of people had commented saying they loved the shake and wished Grimace a happy birthday, and that made him happy again.
This, for whatever reason, emotionally devastated me. I was sobbing. I was ugly crying so bad that even the geese waddled away side-eyeing me.
After a while my bf yelled from inside, "Okay, you ready for dinner?" and I was forced to accept I had to go back in the house a defeated sniffly little wreck.
My boyfriend, who has only ever seen me cry once in the whole year we've been together, looked horrorstruck. He assumed the worst. Someone got hurt. Something was wrong with my family. Someone was mean to me (a cardinal sin). The panic that washed over his face was unparalleled.
He, upon seeing me, (somewhat theatrically) rushed over and grabbed me by the shoulders. "What's wrong, what happened? Are you okay?" he asked, frantic. "What is it?"
I realized how ridiculous the whole situation was and just shook my head.
He was growing more panicked. "What is it? Why are you crying?"
I then had to stand there and look him, this completely normal human being, in the eyes, and blurt out "Grimace"
Confused silence followed.
"....Grimace?"
I nodded.
"...The McDonalds guy...thing?"
I nodded.
"What...what did...Grimace...do to you?"
I then tearfully recounted the silly internet comic that had absolutely broken my heart. And this poor guy--this poor, wonderfully sweet, nice, patient guy--kindly stood there trying to figure out how to comfort me that Grimace was not, in fact, sad. (Nevermind that he's a corporate mascot who isn't real)
This morning my phone rang just after 5am. It was my boyfriend. It was my turn to panic, to assume the worst.
I didn't even have time to say hello before he started excitedly yelling, "Look at the TikTok I just sent you! Look! Open it!"
Confused and not entirely convinced I wasn't still asleep, I opened the TikTok.
An official release from McDonalds confirming Grimace (who still isn't real) did, in fact, feel special on his birthday.
also while we were in the car headed to dinner I remembered the little panel of Grimace crying and I got all teary eyed again, and my boyfriend looked over and, with all the genuine care, compassion, and sympathy this guy could muster, legitimately asked, “Are you having Grimace thoughts again?” which I don’t think I’ll ever let myself live down
who's coming to the saw patrol double feature
ACAB includes paw patrol put those puppies in a saw trap
I'm very fond of this video
[VD: The video begins with a woman walking up a suburban street. She has tan skin, freckles, long straight strawberry blonde hair, lots of eye makeup, a low-cut sleeveless black top, a short black skirt and black thigh-high high-heeled boots.
The person filming says to themself “why does she think that’s okay to wear?” and then says to the woman in a mocking tone “going to the strip club?”
The woman approaches the camera and says to the person filming “you have a nice house. Do you have a husband?”
The person filming replies “yes.”
The woman says “what’s his name?”
The person filming replies “Harold.”
The woman says “okay” and starts to walk away from the camera towards a large house. The person filming says “where are you going?”
The woman, in a sing-song voice, shouts towards the house “oh, Harold! Do you want a wife that’s not a raging cunt?” The last two words are growled out. End VD.]
